The Arena: Pillow factory fight

[Crazeyal]

*Opening Themesong*

Waking up at the start of the end of the world,
But its feeling just like every morning before,
Now I wonder what my life is going to mean if its gone,
The cars are moving like a half a mile an hour if that
I started staring at the passengers waving goodbye
Can you tell me what was ever really special about me all this time

But I believe the world is burning to the ground
Oh well I guess we're gonna find out
Let's see how far we've come
Let's see how far we've come (http://www.aimini.net/view/?fid=zFDaHHgEcx7SWFWK5nkm)

The Devil's in the Deed!!
Brought to you by Microsoft

Hi..

Welcome to this episode of The Devil's in the Deed!! A Televison NON-Reality show.. because no-one believes this *$@# keeps happening to me!!

:al:

Anyway folks.. *(cue corny music)* This week we have the footage from a little game we like to call A FIGHT TO THE DEATH..
No really.. This online aquaintance of mine decided to mouth off a leeeeetle bit too much.. He doesn't know what YOU folks know.. This is my EIGTH UNDEFEATED DEATHMATCH..

You'd think I'd LEARN by now that I shouldn't leave it up to the audience to pick the location... YOU GUYS ARE CRUEL!!!


(*scene change*)

"A PILLOW FACTORY?!?!? How the HELL am I supposed to kill someone in a PILLOW factory??!"

The Red skinned Devil looks on as the three Judges looked at him with their amusement barely contained. Al was wearing his signature white suit, but his usual "The universe was SO smart for creating me" smile is NOT completing the outfit. He glared at the contest's judges and all of them returned the glare with glee. The two teenagers sat closely together and whispered as the older man rolled his eyes at the unspoken flirtation going on.

"You asked for locations.. THAT'S IT.. Remember that your weapons for this fight are Watercolor paints, a Hot Pocket, and a Bejewler! Don't worry.. I've seen you head for worse locations.. I think the last time YOU picked an Arena every last contestant was *ahem* in need of a Pillow for a few months.." Mike Taylor said knowingly.

"THAT NINJA LANDED ON THE SHOTGUN THAT WAY!!" Crazeyal said, getting impossibly even REDDER!

"yeah.. And then the sword.. and the Ukelalie??" Said Mike, which shut the Devil's protests down quickly.

"Mate.. You HAVE to show me those tapes!!" The young Austrailian piped in.

"Why Plunder.. I didn't know you were into Yaoi.. I can draw you all of that stuff you want.. I just need a model.. " Shea said while twirling a light tuft of hair.

"You are going to BREAK that boy... Look..*poke* Catatonic!!" Mike said as Shea attempted and failed miserably with a "WHO ME?!?" look

"Now I.."


http://www.captionbox.net/images/cat_bamf.jpg

Dammit.. I *HATE* it when they do that.. I bet I'm..


Yup..
30 feet off the ground

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:d8o:

:d/: oh.. Right.. PILLOW Factory.. CUTE guys.. Hmmm

:evilgrin:


*Swipe* Swipe *nab* *grab* *toss**fliiinnng*

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*THUD*

"OW.. You suck AL.." Said a slightly flattened TNT.

But the crimson skinned man was no longer there. TNT stood there, rubbing the melon sized welt on his forehead, contemplating murder. The small teenager didn't look ill at ease as he scanned his surroundings for opportunites and weapons. He wore a stained T-shirt that said "Property of Arkham Asylum" and a pair of Janitor's work trousers. The trousers had a padlock on the button loop, and said padlock looked SLIGHTLY worse for wear. "Looking at the lock momentarily, the young man muttered "Still think it's unfair.. if your ass is furry you shouldn't HAVE to wear pants..."


"OooOOoo ALLLLVIIIIIN!!!" TNT shouted to the factory's expanse. Echoes from his rantings attracted a tourguide.

"And children.. Unlike the sales area where we just visited, this next area has industrial machinery and everyone MUST stay with the group! Young man.. ARE YOU LOST??!!" The matronly guide let a bit of steel creep in to her voice as she addressed TNT. He was less than impressed.

"No no.. I'm good.. I'm here with the wienerschntle party.." A surprised TNT blurted out.

Just as the older woman loomed above TNT, ready to give him a piece of her mind, Al's voice looms out from the speaker system "Mrs Stephenson this is security. There is an unescorted child in the plant. Please contain him until officers get there and we call the police!"

---5 minuts later in a locked office---

"B-b-but I was SENT here!! WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE BOTHERING ME?!?!" TNT fairly pleaded to people who were pointedly ignoring him and walking away.

A man in a white lab coat walked into the room, carrying a clipboard.

"Look.. you guys have this weirdo painted red running around here.. HE's DANGEROUS!! WHY WON'T YOU BELIEVE ME??"

"Perhaps because of all the EXPLOSIVES they took off you??" came the voice of crazeyal. Crazeyal smugly took off the labcoat and hardhat and grinned at TNT. Producing a four year old's paint set from his pocket, he calmly walked over to the water cooler and dipped a brush in the well. TNT's incredulous stare stopped after Al went up to him and painted an "L" acrossed the youn man's forehead.

"WHAT THE HELL YA DOIN??" TNT angrilly demanded.

"Fufilling the combat conditions.. Only ONE of them have to kill you! Why don't you just give up.. You are just NOT ready for this..."

"How was *I* supposed to know they'd have security in a Pillow factory?!?!"

"It's a FACTORY!! Part of the challenge is SURVIVING the location the send you to! Just because you THINK it's harmles doen't mean it is!!"

TNT looked at crazeyal with utter calm. He then walked up to the emergency fire panel and jambed his elbow into it. Klaxxon horns sounded and the sound of hundreds of people running loomed through the hallways. TNT then took a fire axe from the shattered cabinet and advanced on the white suited Devil.

"That's not going to work.. it won't count if you use that axe on me.. *snicker*" crazeyal said while leaning on the wall and giggling at the advancing teen.

"Who said I cared about winning..? I just wanted to kill you"

To be continued

[Crazeyal]

TNT's advance on Al was so sudden and unsuspected that the Devil hadn't moved when the Axe was fully embedded in the wall next to him. Wide-eyed, the older man looked down at the spreading blood to see that the wall wasn't the ONLY thing TNT had hit.

"They can disqualify me all they want.. I don't care.. You'll still be dead.."

The deep cut into his side had nicked a rib and cut a bit of muscle. An inch deeper and he would have had a collapsed lung. Knowing shock was setting in, Al struggled to keep his mind working, hoping his body would be stirred into action.

"y-you don't understa-ugh-nd... this *gasp* is a round of three.. You get RESURRECTED each round.." crazeyal gasped.

"You think I CARE about losing?? BFD.. " TNT pulled the axe out of the wall scratching his hairy hindquarters as he contemplated this.

"Y-you forgot a-bout *cough* on-ne t-thing *sputter*" crazeyal gasped.

"You LOSE AND YOU'RE MY SLAVE FOR A MONTH!!" said the red skinned Devil as he bolted out the door.

TNT screamed in rage and frustration as he realized his error. If AL died now, he'd be responsible and DQ'ed. That would give the older man a one up in a contest of three. Not a good place to start out at.

The injury had slowed Al down considerably. TNT caught up to him almost immediately. The axe swung for his legs, causing him to leap up and away. Al's flailing hands caught the steel runners of the catwalk. With a scream of pure agony and rage, crazeyal pulled himself up onto the jagged steel walkway. Refusing to allow himself to whimper at the pain, he took in a deep breath, listening to the inevitable cadence of TNT taking the steel staircase to catch up.

"I am a US Marine.. I gotta get up.."
"I am a martial artist.. I gotta get up.."
"I am a NEW FRIGGEN YORKER I gotta *ugh* dte.. *gasp.."

Crazeyal looked down at his wound. It had been too long since he'd gotten cut so bad.. but it WASN'T the first time.. He looked at the blood stained shirt and.. he..

STOOD
THE
FUCK
UP

"HEEHE I'MA CUT YOU!!" said TNT as he completely failed to recognize Al's sudden rage.

*THOOOM*

YOU
CUT
THE
SUIT

TNT sat on the floor, his nose broken from the Tiger palm Al smashed him with.

Adrenaline and anger make a GREAT pain med, but they do Jack-all for your balance. TNT watched as Al tripped over the rough terrain and landed on his bad side. While the older man was screaming in pain, the crazy eyed teen reached into a pocket and thrust a metallic object toward Al's chest.

KA-PUNCH

:d8o:

"BEDAZZLER BITCH!!" cried TNT

A ragged hole appeared in his shirt as Al looked down on his chest and saw a cheap rhinestone punched into his Left nipple.



CRAZEYAL SMASH!!!

TNT looked at Al with a "fuggit" expression on his face and raised the axe. The younger man rushed the enraged Devil with the axe held high.

In that moment, years melted away. Time moved back-wards. Al was just Ray.. He sat in a classroom with a rare chance for someone of his age and ethnicity. He was learning from someone who trained with ACTUAL Shaolin Monks.

"Sifu.. What would you do if someone attacked you.. REALLY with a knife.. or an axe?" Asked a MUCH younger and non red skinned Ray.

"Run away..."

"Really?? You aren't going to tell me about some kata or move?"

"Hey.. you didn't ask about applications.. you asked about what I'd do!! I used to fight when I was young.. but I'm a business owner now! I get sued if people pick their nose and it bleeds! Someone wants to fight? Walk away. They follow.. RUN!! Someone pulls out a knife?? CALL A COP!! You want to become a cop or do security, learn how to disarm, practice it EVERY FRIGGEN DAY or you $#$% it up and DIE.. Me.. I like NOT having fists or knives flying at me! I avoid it whenever possible! Did you know the most BASIC Martial arts move is FALLING DOWN??"

"Really??"

"Yeah.. Hell .. half of Monkey style is fall down.. THEN do this move or that.. If there is one thing you learn from these classes, it'd BETTER be how to fall! How you land is just as important as how you throw a punch!!

~~~~~~The present~~~~~~

TNT let out a scream of rage as he lowered the axe with all his might. The Devil half closed his eyes and relaxed his legs, letting himself plummet back-wards while bringing his hands up underneath the axe. The head of the weapon landed directly on a four inch rubber tube, splitting it instantly. Steaming green dye gushed out directly into TNT's face, searing his eyes and face.

In a second, Al was at the wall, opening a cabinet.

"WATER AND COLOR BITCH!!!!" He screamed as he turned the Firehose on TNT. The younger man was blasted with thousands of PSI mid-body. He tried to hold his ground, but inertia took over almost immediately. Holding onto the railing, the younger man screamed for help, his grip made impossible by the slick pigments and water all over his one handhold.

Slowly, Al walked over to TNT's precarious placement. He held a hand out to the young man, bracing himself against the railing. TNT grudgingly accepted the hand and immediately pulled it back with a scream.

"oh.. ..I'M SORRY :al: I left my HOT-POCKET in that hand.. ooh.. didums lose your grip??"

Lightning quick, crazeyal reached out and grabbed TNT's flailing form right by the belt buckle.

"You can concede or fall.. your choice.."

TNT's response was not verbal.

Well..

It WAS.. but only if you consider GGGLLGRARRRRGHHHBBLGGHH a word. He bucked his hips five or fifty times and then plummeted to the floor screaming all the way.

*scene change*

Yes folks.. I had won.. What was that?? You think I lost too?? Yeah.. the Judges had something to say about that too..

*Switch to crazeyal standing in front of the Judges, suit sparkling white, smile intact.*

Mike Talylor looked a little uncomfortable as he looked down from his table to Al. "You should have known better.. Technically you won.. but you didn't do it in the proscribed manner.. we are gonna have to take off points!"

That's when the GRIN started..

All three reacted.. Plunder even stopped being comatose..

"Okay Al.. stop weirding us out and SPILL IT!!"

"Yeah.. you were holding onto TNT's belt when he shook himself loose and denied you the win!" said Plunder

"That would be a problem.. IF TNT died from a fall, instead of blood loss AFTER the fall" crazeyal said with a twinkle in his eye.

Mike Taylor immediately put his finger in his ears and covered his eyes. Shea and Plunder looked at him like he was crazy.

"One other thing.. TNT DOESN'T WEAR A BELT!!" crazeyal smirked "Gota present for ya.."

*THUMP*

Plunder winced as he saw the male genitalia thump onto the desk. Mike groaned from the PUNishment. TNT had died from BONE LOSS after
all..




:al:

[Plunder Down-Under]

Plunder pulls out a magnifying glass and inspects. After a few short minutes, he places it back on the desk

"Yep, this is real alright. And very clever the way you used slang term. I'm perfectly fine in accepting this as a correct cause of death... though quite harsh" says Plunder, hiding a chuckle.

"Now just a reminder for everyone involved, The stories will be rated on a 1 - 10 scale with ratings in originality, writing skill, and extra points available for award for:

Selling the other role play
Each designated weapon used
Exceptional writing of the opponent's character
1 discretionary point per judge

We'll get back to you with our scoring.. But First, lets hear how the audience liked it! (Cheer or Boo)

[KeegaKurGurk]

laughs maniacly

[Silverharp]

Personally, I would have liked to see more color ala the bejewler, but all in all I give this fight an 8.75!

[Crazeyal]

Well.. It was a little harder than most, as I had to also introduce the genre and give a subtle guideline for my opponant. They get wackier.

[asianmommy]

Good fight but not enough use of the surrounding factory and all those fluffy pillowkins.

[KeegaKurGurk]

yes i did kinda wanna see bedazled pillows being flung

[Mike Taylor]

I shall render my decision in the morning.

*Is too pissed off from having had to leave his department a mess at close.*

[sableagle]

Old 03-23-2008, 08:31 AMI take it TNT's null-response is now accepted as being all we're getting, as it's been over 52 hours.

Comment from the peanut gallery: red-hot Hot Pocket randomly in your hand but not burning it after climbing up like that and pushing yourself to your feet was a bit arbitrary.

[Crazeyal]

Well he said he was working on it.. It's a little daunting when you sit down and write it. Mine took me about 3 hours. He *IS* a writer, so I'd be okay with cutting him a little more slack.

[Crazeyal]

Comment from the peanut gallery: red-hot Hot Pocket randomly in your hand but not burning it after climbing up like that and pushing yourself to your feet was a bit arbitrary.Yeah.. Sue me.. I've not done one of these in years..