Woah!

[John Northman]

What happened over here!?
I come and take a nice day off and suddenly I have to make a new account..

I've have a few event rich weeks

First off the new recruits came a couple a weeks back (mmmm.. fresh meat :dcool: )

And after that the INDICA came to our base for a gig :eek:
http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c98/Warcrafter1/kuvat/18072007004.jpg
http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c98/Warcrafter1/kuvat/18072007006.jpg
She's Johanna the singer.. Dunno what hit me but I gave her my self made lucky army steel ring (TM) She replied "Thats so romantic. I've never been proposed during a gig" And that's when it hit me Shit.. a ring can mean that too My shock was completed when she said "I do"
Afterwards backstage she said shes not supposed to get engaged yet but she promised to keep the ring with her..

The INDICA music video is on YOUTUBE http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hW25-7LZONU

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c98/Warcrafter1/kuvat/Kuva003.jpg
I was riding my bike and just had to take this shot. The summers almost over here.. :(

Also I have 3654 hours of service left..

[Plunder Down-Under]

Haha, she has a fun sense of humor.

[Leffy]

awww john's getting married to a rock star!!!! he's going to be a frazzled trophie wife ;p

[Farler]

awww john's getting married to a rock star!!!! he's going to be a frazzled trophie wife ;p

AND HE'S GOING TO HAVE SEX! *the crowd goes wild*

[Sehson]

Carfull John...

She's got fangs... and well by her eye's I wouldn't be surprised if she doesn't have a little lycan or sihde in her lineage:shhh::shhh:

other than that she's mighty purty and gots a sweet voice... though haven't a clue what's she's singing.

[Mike Taylor]

Those are some good looking women, John. Gonna click the link in a bit.

EDIT: Wow, that's a really good song. I can't understand a word she's saying, but it certainly deserves a place in my CD collection. And yes, were I a believer in Otherkin I'd say there was some strong faerie blood in that woman.

[Crazeyal]

*sniff* They grow up so quickly...

[John Northman]

awww john's getting married to a rock star!!!! he's going to be a frazzled trophie wife ;p

AND HE'S GOING TO HAVE SEX! *the crowd goes wild*

:stormtrooper: *Puts a helmet on to cover enourmush blush*
My army pals have been trying to encourage me to ask a nice girl in the soldiers home.. But I said that I just cant go just like that and ask her out. Thats when they said "Oh yeah right.. You prefer a straight proposal"

Carfull John...

She's got fangs... and well by her eye's I wouldn't be surprised if she doesn't have a little lycan or sihde in her lineage:shhh::shhh:

other than that she's mighty purty and gots a sweet voice... though haven't a clue what's she's singing.

She really has a heavenly voice :o
Basicaly it's a song about how fragile life is and how time erases everything.

Those are some good looking women, John. Gonna click the link in a bit.

EDIT: Wow, that's a really good song. I can't understand a word she's saying, but it certainly deserves a place in my CD collection. And yes, were I a believer in Otherkin I'd say there was some strong faerie blood in that woman.

have some more
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05mAzx56jQ4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDsnysapq7U

P.S 15 more days to my birthday!

[Crazeyal]

Hey John.. Aint Military life..strangely comforting while massively frustrating??? It's a lifestyle of weird convieniences and contradictions... But it's HOME.. aint it?

Good luck buddy.

And DON'T marry the first one... no matter WHAT!!!

(that part is serious!!! wear a raincoat every time.. you are too young to be saddled or infected.. I've had friends just.. die on me.. one way or another...)

[Leffy]

what if hes a good boy and marries THEN has his first erm ride? then he's technicallly married to his first, but he was a good boy about it.

either way john i'm glad to see you gabbing at us again. *huuuuuuugs*

[toreador]

*drools* sorry i have a thing for redheads :p but seriously shes cute!!

[Crazeyal]

what if hes a good boy and marries THEN has his first erm ride? then he's technicallly married to his first, but he was a good boy about it.

Uhhhh

Then he gets into a mortgage and kids BEFORE realizing he doesn't know what sex is like with anyone else... resulting in divorce from him acting LIKE A GUY...

There's a REASON you don't get married young. Men learn by doing. That almost always means SCREWING UP. "Hey.. that's hot.. don't touch OW!! guess yer right.."

Men who get married young, and without experience, make themselves and/or their partners miserable.

[Leffy]

i dunno. much as i enjoy the things i've learned, i honestly wish my first had less experience then he did. he knew everything he liked, so i didn't get to learn everything i liked doing with him.half the fun is in the learning together.

[Crazeyal]

Sweetie...

There's a BIG differance between dating someone and marrying them. So many young folk dive into it without building the base needed to sustain a lifetime's relationship. Your first time is hyped as magical, often it's forgetable... that's mainly because there is no relationship and knowledge to fall back on when you run out of hormones.

Sex just is.

Making love is an artform.

[garfalk]

wow john...talk about the military changing ya.
beautiful lady.

[kitty!]

Hey John! Long time no see!!!!

And I have to agree with Al on this one. I've seen a couple of my dad's friends who "waited until marriage" and now a whole bunch of divorces are rolling around. Mostly, they rushed into it, were really young and didn't understand, and that's why I agree with Al.

I mean, my parents married really young, and mum told me not to marry young either, but after a few years of noticing how precarious their relationship is, I have to say that you ought to really live before getting married.

[Crazeyal]

and that's why I agree with Al.
did...

anyone else's feet suddenly get COLD???

[kitty!]

I always knew I'd be the sole cause of the Apocolypse ^^

[RazorJAK]

I always knew I'd be the sole cause of the Apocolypse ^^

*rimshot*

[Leffy]

that is pretty scary.

[Plunder Down-Under]

I disagree on the basis of every rule has exception(s), while dedicayting you life to one persons, through marriage or other paths, should be a path not tread whimsically there are some people who date their high school sweet heart, and stay together until they die as happy or happy as people who have loved and lost and repeated.

But they arent the majority.

[Crazeyal]

Every rule has exceptions, true. But usually the reasons for the exception are because there is something out of the ordinary involved. Joe average marrying Jane Average has a 50 - 50 shot of winding up miserable or divorced if they don't do the work BEFORE marriage.

[Plunder Down-Under]

The only difference in our oppinions is optomist/realist/pessemist. Though one could argue realist is a euphamism for pessemist

[reo01]

...if I'd married my first boyfriend, I'd be living in the Cook Islands, with a hugely disapproving mother-in-law, 6 kids, and a husband who expected me to have a hot meal on the table no matter what time in the morning he got home from partying. On top of that, keep a spotless house and immaculate flower garden. large vege garden, pigs and chooks. Oh and not want to do anything or go anywhere without his permission. Final bonus- put up with him constantly screwing tourists and local girls, and be expected to welcome him home with open arms every time.

Ahh, I learned SO many things from that relationship. :skull:

[garfalk]

the location sounds great, the other stuff bad....

[UberFische]

but he always could've had an "accident" and you'd be a widow in the Cook Islands...

[Wayne]

but he always could've had an "accident" and you'd be a widow in the Cook Islands...


This is good advice.

[Ruestir]

Men who get married young, and without experience, make themselves and/or their partners miserable.

And you think women are categorally different in this aspect? Sorry, but I'm going to have to disagree with you on this. It really has nothing to do with age, experience, sexual ability, money or any number of other symptoms that people come up with to say why marriages fail. The simple truth is marriages fail because one or both people in the marriage don't know what it means to love unconditionally, selflessly or humbly. Which arguably are almost all the same thing. I'd like to think I've learned a little bit about love and what it takes to make a marriage work in the 15 years I've been with my wife, 14 of those married. The harder we've both worked to understand the other, to put their needs before our own, to listen without judgement their thoughts, concerns, fears and complaints, the closer we've come together. All the rest of the stuff will work itself out. Oh, and no, I don't have the perfect marriage, I'm in it after all. Think journey, not destination.

[Leffy]

Oh, and no, I don't have the perfect marriage, I'm in it after all.

hehe. theres no such thing as the PERFECT marriage, let alone the perfect relationship. wheres the fun in perfection? everything becomes routine.

[Ruestir]

hehe. theres no such thing as the PERFECT marriage, let alone the perfect relationship. wheres the fun in perfection? everything becomes routine.

True...true.

[Crazeyal]

And you think women are categorally different in this aspect? I NEVER said that. We were talking specifically about John. But nothing I said was actually gender biased.The simple truth is marriages fail because one or both people in the marriage don't know what it means to love unconditionally, selflessly or humbly. Look... You don't need to be a SAINT to have a decent relationship, you need to communicate, care and listen. It's simply harder than it looks. My point was, is and will be, that most young people haven't screwed up enough to be able to catch warning signs. You think some 17 - 18 year old kid is gonna know about silent pauses, or noticing little things like hairstyles (which took a week's worth of phone calls, two weeks of "fun money" and a favor to be named later!!!) Will some 18 year old guy know that all she wanted was "your hair looks FANTASTIC" and her day is made? No! Some 17 year old girl isn't gonna know about "Guy time" and will lead to her feeling left out, or worse.. TRYING TO PARTICIPATE... Some men can handle this, some can't. Knowing the differance is NOT rolling your eyes and saying "FINE!!!" But that's communication. That's empathy with understanding. IT TAKES WORK. You learn by doing, or having a great example in front of you.


Disagree all you like, but I maintain my opinion on the matter. There are a few rare people who are naturally great partners. Whether it's enviornment or atttitude, doesn't really matter. But even fantastic giving partners will fail without open, honest communcation and the ability to see more points of view than your own. You can love someone with all your heart, but if you can't understand them, you or they will wind up hurt eventually.

[Leffy]

you're the last person i figured to be passionate in this for some reason o.O

or atleast so determined to so passionately say it. yeah that sounds more like what i mean.

[Crazeyal]

Sweetie...

You can be a ROGUE and still care about a woman...

Some ladies LIKE a bit of naughty.... :al:

[Big Otis Landfish]

WARNING: LONG RANT OF QUESTIONABLE LOGIC AHEAD
I may be talking some serious bullshit here - it holds true in my reality, but could be hazardous to yours. This has been my guiding principle through my late adolescence/early adulthood, which may explain a few things. :rolleyes: Enjoy!


Every rule has exceptions, true. But usually the reasons for the exception are because there is something out of the ordinary involved. Joe average marrying Jane Average has a 50 - 50 shot of winding up miserable or divorced if they don't do the work BEFORE marriage.

Yah... this guy here. Of course, you can check up in 5/10/25/50 years and see if that holds, but I'm very confident it will. And I think you're being generous on 50-50 odds, depending on outside pressure (i.e. parental death-threats) to stay together.

And out-of-the-ordinary in this case being full dedication to the premise of marrying my first, with heavy, heavy doses of cynicism and realism in partner choosing.... whereas the normal 'marry your first' is because... you've been together for a while... or the whole marry-to-jump-each-others-bones where the anti-premarital sex thing is in effect.

In other words.... know exactly what requirements you have in a partner, and don't compromise (also make sure that your requirements are life-long in scope - you WON'T necessarily know this at a young age). Take the time to find out as much as possible about that person (a year of friendship helps), and mentally note everything that you don't like. If you can't put up with that for the rest of your life, ABORT (I identified one thing I don't like about my fiancee' - and it hasn't changed. It's minor, and I can live with it - I ain't perfect either. Haven't found anything else of consequence yet, although women in particular will always find a new way to 'surprise' you - we all have to deal with gender differences, though). Discuss and make sure you are in agreeance on all the big issues before things get going - marriage, kids, career, eating habits, etc. - in a general way, obviously. This is where friendship helps... you can't chat a stranger up about such matters. Note that it would be a VERY good idea to build as many friendships with the opposite sex as possible to give you a larger screening base - if you're working one angle per year you'll never get anywhere.

Don't be too worried about your 'target' having previous sexual experience, but get a feel for what their typical patterns are - have they been exclusively in long-term relationships (serial monogamy) or are they 'free spirits'? It's my pet theory that in a certain percentage of cases, those who were particularly promiscuous before marriage will be more prone to 'indiscretions' within marriage - it's probably hugely dependent on the person's empathy for others and their personal willpower, but hey - old habits die hard. An old pro paired with a blushing virgin may end up feeling a little stifled (and it's important for said virgin to have a fairly good understanding of what's involved in making your partner feel good - absorb sex tips & techniques like a sponge, and I don't mean prawn).

Don't believe in unconditional love between people (hey, if you want to take that up with your deity of choice, cool, otherwise get a dog if you want unconditional love). Love is based on the way you treat each other, not the other way around. It's also my belief that the biochemical basis of 'love' is due to the triggering of pair-bonding instincts - the basis of my methods are to delay the pair-bonding process enough to make it hit fast and irreversibly

Above all, be fully prepared to turn down chances at having sex - repeatedly if necessary. Anything from shots at one-night-stands, to dating situations with less-than-ideal partners, to flat-out propositions (hah! Now that I've done the deed, and had it good, I wonder how I managed to pull that off - repeatedly! I guess ignorance is power; that and well, pulling something else off repeatedly. :dgrin:). I even called time-out on my now-fiancee' the first time things got hot and heavy in bed... drinking and public make-out sessions do not lead to clear decisions, especially among classmates. I made sure I thought it through and it had a fair chance of being the real deal for a few days before going full steam ahead.

Now, personally, I think that sexual compatibility is hugely important in long-term relationships, so I don't include pre-marital abstinence in my methods. I also think a live-in period is a good idea (we've been living together for 4 years at this point, starting 2 weeks after we started dating - hey, I needed a place to stay.:DP:).



Oh, and for any of the young'uns thinking this is a viable strategy... know the consequences going in. There's a good chance you'll:

a) never find anyone good enough
b) think you found the one and later have it blow up in your face, leaving you hopelessly heartbroken and hung up for the rest of your pointless, miserable life
c) blow the window on your biological capability to pair-bond (depends how much you believe Desmond Morris on whether such a window actually exists)

Even if things DO turn out, you'll get the joys of constant sexual frustration, periods of self-doubt and despair, and questioning of your sexual orientation by others in the mean time. It's a GREAT way to spend your teenage years, although maybe not that different from most male teens, I suppose. :rolleyes:

[Farler]

If joe average married Jane average it would probably be some form of incest because honestly how many people have the surname average?

[Crazeyal]

Some good advice B. O. (love the new handle btw.. :al:)

On of the big problems with growing up, is that you tend to think you're done learning because you stopped growing. One of the basic facts of relationships is that men and women are wired differantly. I've learned to "speak Female" or at least decifered a good chunk of the language. There's a good many men who use that sort of knowledge for evil rather than good. Telling women "what they want to hear" and then just leaving when they are bored.(The reverse of this is the "dumb Blonde" who get's diamonds and your best friend's cock...)

Plenty of people either learn the wrong lessons, or get smiled at too much, thinking things are great and suddenly BAM emptied closets and bank accounts. Lawyer city.

My origional point stands. Live life, hurt as few people as possible along the way, and try and pay attention when you screw up. Relationships WILL come again. Being 18 never will.

[Big Otis Landfish]

(love the new handle btw.. :al:)

New forum, new anagram. I was looking to shed Lansa for a while (bad associations in Other Places; was kind of done with the original persona), and this one keeps the core ID for those in the know, but is more up to speed with current situations. But thanks!


There's a good many men who use that sort of knowledge for evil rather than good. Telling women "what they want to hear" and then just leaving when they are bored.

Ooooh, man. Once I'd got some practical experience 'in the field', so to speak, I suddenly GOT IT why there are so many decent (gender 1) with total shithead (gender 2). In a committed relationship, you are usually using your powers to genuinely try to make your loved one feel happy, secure and fulfilled, (or sometimes to save your own ass), but man... I can see how tempting the Dark Side of the Force would be for a single person. Scary stuff, if the wielder doesn't care about emotional consequences.

Oh, and I did have a short fling with one of those type of people, who went on to fuck her way through a several other of my friends. Good thing I don't put out, because it would have been extremely messy for me (there were still some bad feelings, but nothing too nasty). Didn't really see it coming either, but slow and careful saved my ass.

[Ruestir]

Al,

You talk as if I should disagree with your retort, but if you look, I don't see where we're disagreeing on many of your points there. My points about what love is still stands. You can point out the "symptoms" all you want, and how to medicate those to make people feel good about themselves, but if it's done only selfishly, it will fail.

Don't believe in unconditional love between people
Talk to most parents. Hell, I'd let you talk to my grandfather who's oldest daughter reviled him to the day he died, and he loved her just as long. I know talk of unconditional love makes most people cringe and a lot of them laugh cynically because they don't believe in something for nothing. We'll probably just have to agree to disagree here.


There are 4 ways that love is shown that I can see.

1. I love myself for my sake. - Complete self absorption and totally selfish as this person will only do what benefits themselves. How it benefits others never comes into the equation on how they make their decisions.

2. I love you for my sake. - Also selfish but harder to see initially because it looks like they have an interest in how their decisions affect others. The truth is their demonstrations of love are only a tribute to themselves. It makes them feel good to do it, so they do, but as soon as it no longer makes them feel good, or is an inconvenience to them, they stop. If they're not getting anything out of it, what's the point? They move on.

3. I love you for your sake. - A true commitment to the other person and their well being. Decisions are made with their needs in mind first. Your desire is for their best interests to be served, even if it leaves you out.

4. I love me for your sake. - This is the hardest one to both explain and understand. It will almost always look like 3, but to a casual observer may even appear as 1 or 2. In truth, most people are probably really incapable of this kind of love. The reason I say this is because I think it would be easy to convince ourselves we are loving this way, when in fact we're really just being selfish. Here's my explanation. Loving yourself for another person's sake, means all your decisions about yourself are made with the other person in mind. An addendum to that is shame or guilt do not enter the equation for these decisions either.

The truth is, nobody will want to read this. It's going to make some uncomfortable and maybe even make a few angry. I'm sure I'm not going to be popular because of it. People don't like to see love categorized because they don't want to be pigeon-holed. I can appreciate that. It's a tough thing, but it doesn't make it any less true.

[Big Otis Landfish]

Talk to most parents. Hell, I'd let you talk to my grandfather who's oldest daughter reviled him to the day he died, and he loved her just as long. I know talk of unconditional love makes most people cringe and a lot of them laugh cynically because they don't believe in something for nothing. We'll probably just have to agree to disagree here.

I didn't figure parental love into this one. That's a whole other set of biological imperatives, and can be STRONGER than the pair-bond. Of course, it's not automatic for everyone, but I'll buy that.

My argument against unconditional love in a relationship isn't so much that it can't exist; it's more a warning against thinking that being in love with someone means an automatic happy ending, or that love itself is enough.

I'd say a case could be made pretty strongly for existence of UCL, but unfortunately most of the examples would be pretty pathological (e.g. love inside of abusive relationships). UCL is pretty hard to prove when conditions are good.

And I don't disagree with your categorization of love. Love's tough enough to hold up to some analysis.... even if the complete biochemical pathway was described and documented, this wouldn't make the experience any less beautiful. ;)

[Ruestir]

Ok, and here's where I think the whole discussion misses each other is that I'm not speaking of love in strictly the romantic sense. That kind of love is extremely difficult to maintain. It's like constantly being high, a nice place to visit, but you really can't live there and be functional. I think it gets fuzzy because any time we talk about love in a relationship, most people automatically equate sex into the formula. Sex does not equal love. It is a wonderful manifestation of love in it's most basic and animalistic form, but we do an incredible disservice to ourselves when we over emphasize the importance of sex in a relationship. I think you understand this Otis. Relationships that are entirely sexual in nature are doomed to failure. It literally throws up a physical barrier that prevents a couple from true intamacy. Without that, which encompasses many of the things already discussed such as, communication, openness, honesty, and transparency, the relationship has nowhere to go, and will eventually go stale and fall away. Wow this conversation got really deep. I think we lost all the teens. That, or they're scribbling notes. :p

[Ecchi_Kitty]

"My life for your life.
My death for your life.
My life for your death.
My death for your death."
- Death Gate Cycle

[Crazeyal]

That, or they're scribbling notes. :pWell Plunder at least..

[Big Otis Landfish]

Bring 'em back with a Simpsons quote...
"It's like being married to your best friend... but he lets you touch his boobs!"

(danged if I could find the actual quote anywhere online, but that's close)

[Leffy]

my brain just cracked.

[Ruestir]

my brain just cracked.

*holds up some superglue and smiles helpfully*

[Leffy]

if we can find all the pieces that MIGHT work.... atleast if we put it together right. mush too many things together i might become even more twisted.

or i'll end up normal.

[Sehson]

Normal.... Bah... Normal is for sane people and well sane people just are BORING and predictable...

I mean I like getting into a crowded elevator down town and Just before the first stop is reached shouting "BAD TOUCH BAD TOUCH... NO TOUCHEE!!!!." then pushing my way off the elevator as soon as the doors open:lol::lol:

It keeps life interesting

[Plunder Down-Under]

Normally Id be taking notes but this time I just got knocked out by wall of text

[Darlica]

I NEVER said that. We were talking specifically about John. But nothing I said was actually gender biased.Look... You don't need to be a SAINT to have a decent relationship, you need to communicate, care and listen. It's simply harder than it looks. My point was, is and will be, that most young people haven't screwed up enough to be able to catch warning signs. You think some 17 - 18 year old kid is gonna know about silent pauses, or noticing little things like hairstyles (which took a week's worth of phone calls, two weeks of "fun money" and a favor to be named later!!!) Will some 18 year old guy know that all she wanted was "your hair looks FANTASTIC" and her day is made? No! Some 17 year old girl isn't gonna know about "Guy time" and will lead to her feeling left out, or worse.. TRYING TO PARTICIPATE... Some men can handle this, some can't. Knowing the differance is NOT rolling your eyes and saying "FINE!!!" But that's communication. That's empathy with understanding. IT TAKES WORK. You learn by doing, or having a great example in front of you.


Disagree all you like, but I maintain my opinion on the matter. There are a few rare people who are naturally great partners. Whether it's enviornment or atttitude, doesn't really matter. But even fantastic giving partners will fail without open, honest communcation and the ability to see more points of view than your own. You can love someone with all your heart, but if you can't understand them, you or they will wind up hurt eventually.

To some extent I agree with you: I don't think people should get married or have kids when they more or less still are kids them selfs (18-20) of cause as always there are exceptions and I'm not judging anyone it's just my point of view.
Also I think marrying just so you can have sex is reprehensible, but not so much on behalf of the people getting married for that reason as on the behalf of the society encouraging it as being the right thing...

No to the points where I disagree with you:
I've stayed with my first for 14 years now, of cause we are not married (this however doesn't mean that we are not exclusive or isn't committed to each other or our relationship). :)

Things has gone wrong many times but the key is to (as you said) communicate, but also to be honest and have mutual respect for each other and each others needs. There is no age limit to that. One also have to realize that trial and error is a way to move things forward and be willing to forgive those errors as no one is perfect.

In my point of view there is nothing like a female language, at least not one that we are born with, again it's all about what the society expects of you. "Men should think and behave like this, or they are not real men and women should say this and mean that or they are not real women" I say fuck that! We are all individuals, men and women. And I think it's sad when someone as intelligent and otherwise open minded person like you buy those old stereotypes and cement them further. :(




Some ladies LIKE a bit of naughty.... :al:

Yes, we do! :jbdevil:

[Wayne]

Normal.... Bah... Normal is for sane people and well sane people just are BORING and predictable...

I mean I like getting into a crowded elevator down town and Just before the first stop is reached shouting "BAD TOUCH BAD TOUCH... NO TOUCHEE!!!!." then pushing my way off the elevator as soon as the doors open:lol::lol:

It keeps life interesting

So that was you!

[Crazeyal]

I just don't get it.

People keep saying they disagree with me but they are saying the same thing I am. Oh the age thing...

Well, it's not an exclusion, but a tendency. People without experience or maturity tend to make the same stupid mistakes over and over again. How many young people screw up a perfectly good relationship over trivial nonsense or the thrill of the minute? Experience and maturity tell you to either knock it the hell off, or learn to lie better.

Young people are not incapable of caring, OR maturity. It's not like I'm accusing 20 year olds of being hormonal teenagers either. I'm saying that a marriage or committed relationship is HARD WORK. Truly understanding another person's needs is usually as difficult as learning a new language. Some people can learn several languages at an early age. It's up to the individual. Most people that *I've* seen aren't mature enough to actually LISTEN and LEARN until they've made or been a victim of the "BIG" relationship mistakes.

As far as stereotyping? Sorry, but most of the gender specific ones are TRUE!!! The trick is to realize that every human being is differant in the levels of hormones and abilities. Every person is a giant mixing vat of attitudes, tendencies and chemicals. Some men aren't tempted as much as the "horndog" guy. But EVERY guy is a horndog. Some women aren't mother material, but they all feel the tugs of maternal instinct (yes... even the ones who HATE KIDS!!!)

Some people are exceptional. Some men are born with the empathy to see beyond themselves. Some LEARN and EARN that ability. An 18 year old kid doesn't HAVE to screw things up with Alpha dog behavior. But it takes experience to know how much of that to use. Nice guys DO finish last.

Young women tend to identify Alpha dog behavior as desireable. That's why the "asshole" always gets laid. Women with some bad experiences, or just some insight, start to realize that being confident is NOT the same as being arrogant. But it usually takes them a few tries to overcome both their naivete and their instincts.

[Plunder Down-Under]

I disagree with an unspecified point for unspecified reason with unspecified levels of conviction and credability.

[Ruestir]

Young women tend to identify Alpha dog behavior as desireable. That's why the "asshole" always gets laid. Women with some bad experiences, or just some insight, start to realize that being confident is NOT the same as being arrogant. But it usually takes them a few tries to overcome both their naivete and their instincts.

I think this is really a great point. (Try not to faint Al.) Note to the young ladies, the arrogant asshole is being that way because he's so insecure in himself that he has to step on other people to boost what little confidence he has up. It's fabricated confidence designed to hide the scared insecure little punk....ehh...kid who doesn't know how to behave. Had one of these one time threaten me with a knife. I didn't react to it, and just looked at him. Not what he expected and just put it away and walked off. That wasn't confidence on my part, it was just being scared and not knowing what to say. Fortunately it worked for me. The only really confident guy I knew was a lineman on our football team. Guy was everybody's friend because people just liked being around him and he didn't feel the need to belittle others to make himself feel better.

[Darlica]

I just don't get it.

People keep saying they disagree with me but they are saying the same thing I am. Oh the age thing...

Well, it's not an exclusion, but a tendency. People without experience or maturity tend to make the same stupid mistakes over and over again. How many young people screw up a perfectly good relationship over trivial nonsense or the thrill of the minute? Experience and maturity tell you to either knock it the hell off, or learn to lie better.

What I disagreed the idea that because you're young you won't recognize that "perfectly good relationship" and just have to screw it up.
Also that learning to lie better is any kind of option...


As far as stereotyping? Sorry, but most of the gender specific ones are TRUE!!!
Yes, that is your experience, I get and respect that, but in my experience, most of these truths is noting but the expectations society fills your head with when you grow up. Later as a grown man or woman you will fulfill those expectations with out really know or ask why. That's the foundation every society builds upon, not only in the sex/gender department, it's what make us recognize us from them and it has been vital for our development as a species , only now many of these rules are becoming more than a bit outdated, since we no longer has any need for them.


The trick is to realize that every human being is differant in the levels of hormones and abilities. Every person is a giant mixing vat of attitudes, tendencies and chemicals. Some men aren't tempted as much as the "horndog" guy. But EVERY guy is a horndog.

To me this smell a little bit of self authorization. :p


Some women aren't mother material, but they all feel the tugs of maternal instinct (yes... even the ones who HATE KIDS!!!)

Sure, I'm a mother goose to the extent it's silly, but has no urge to spawn... I don't hate them though. And just for the record, I don't hate men either...:p


Some people are exceptional. Some men are born with the empathy to see beyond themselves. Some LEARN and EARN that ability. An 18 year old kid doesn't HAVE to screw things up with Alpha dog behavior. But it takes experience to know how much of that to use. Nice guys DO finish last.

Young women tend to identify Alpha dog behavior as desireable. That's why the "asshole" always gets laid. Women with some bad experiences, or just some insight, start to realize that being confident is NOT the same as being arrogant. But it usually takes them a few tries to overcome both their naivete and their instincts.

In your point of view;
Are men that not display this "horndog" behavior less manly?
Are woman that doesn't fall for it less womanly?
Is it in you point of view impossible for a man to keep his dick in his pants outside a relationship even if he and his woman/partner is a good match sexually?

To me, a man that is so confident in himself and his sexuality that he feels no need to justify his manliness by the usual "dick measuring activities" is really attractive, it has always been that way...

I guess I'm just a disgrace to my sex, as usual...:dgrin:

[Leffy]

thats it. i'm swearing off relationships! i'm going to be the crazy hermit lady who's only interaction is with her daughter to feed/care for her, and the occassional hiss spit and growl at the food bringer.

yup thats safe. no crazy interpersonal situamations to worry over.

[kitty!]

Bah, I'm just reading all this and feeling an indescribable feeling of doom in my future. I have a hard enough time being on the same page with my best friend, and we think alike. Up the ante and the gains and losses one more level and everything would just fall to shit...and it did *winces*

I think I'm with Leffy here. *wraps self in cloak and fades into shadows*

[Leffy]

honestly, the heart ache is needed. without it we wouldn't know when we had a good thing.

its just learning how to make the good thing stay good, thats the truely hard part.

[Ruestir]

honestly, the heart ache is needed. without it we wouldn't know when we had a good thing.

its just learning how to make the good thing stay good, thats the truely hard part.

Eloquently put my dear.

[Leffy]

i'm thinking duct tape, and long lengths of rope can work to that end.

[kitty!]

Not really, because then you get all guilty and untie the person and pray that they stay, but they don't.

And if you don't tie them up but try and work it out like a normal human being and try to really understand them, doesn't mean the person wants to be understood. No matter what you do, with some good things, they aren't ment to stay. Some good things are just impossible to keep, and that's what really sucks.

[Ruestir]

I don't think people try to be misunderstood, but the ability to express themselves clearly does seem to be way beyond their capacity.

[kitty!]

My ex kinda pushed me away because I was "trying too hard."

Yea, he didn't want to be understood. I never said anything about misunderstanding. Just understanding. I wanted to know why he was the way he was, why he grimaced when he talked about certain family members, and why he was so damn tense all the time. I was dating a god damn iceburg; I only saw 10% of who he was. And I loved him too. *sighs*

[Leffy]

thats the great thing about being human. we have an endless capacity to love.

[kitty!]

That capacity to love is a bit of a pain too. Like loving someone who doesn't love you back. And still loving them. It's a huge face-palm, guilt ridden heartache fest. Mm...I wonder if mum'll let me have some WKD...

[John Northman]

*comes back and sees all the babling about his pontential love life and love life in general*

Dudes! (and Gals)

I think all of you have been watching too much Dr. Phil... ( or some other talk-show)

Lets see something entertaining for a change (Seriously you all are being way too.... grown up!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6M19uaDaJE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YB1QkirsCpA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=77ey1aWDnyY

Yup.. All of the bands are Finnish (this time singing english)

[Leffy]

those are pretty good!

though in that nightwish one... um why is the guy acting like he's saying something harder and cruder then what he is? o.O

[John Northman]

I!...

...don't have a clue..

P.S
3562 hours of service left

[Darlica]

I'm sorry I didn't mean to babble about your potential love life...

I just, felt I had to respond to Al...:o




/D

[kitty!]

We all are guilty of it. And now I want to partake in more underage drinking.

I'm too young to try and find the answer to my problems at the bottom of a bottle!

[Leffy]

lol you see what i mean though john? he doesn't match up lol. hes trying to hard at the big bad rock man look hehehe

[Ruestir]

We all are guilty of it. And now I want to partake in more underage drinking.

I'm too young to try and find the answer to my problems at the bottom of a bottle!

Yes you are and you'd never find it there. I know...or at least I hope, you're joking in part, but it's really no answer.

[Big Otis Landfish]

We all are guilty of it. And now I want to partake in more underage drinking.

I'm too young to try and find the answer to my problems at the bottom of a bottle!

You are too young... and please note that alcoholics keep drinking because trying to find the answer in the bottom of a bottle is like trying to find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, only worse. It's like as if the rainbow got increasingly further as you tried to walk towards it. You can't treat depression with depressants, although I'll admit that an occasional bender is good for blowing off needlessly accumulated stress. Doesn't do shit for ongoing problems, though - and it's not so much the alcohol as the 'permission' to act like a right loopy goof-off. Doing that without the alcohol works just as well. Heck, I used to get pretty good results with just caffeine - still a drug, but a relatively benign one.


You should try yoga instead... hey, you're bendy already, and it actually does wonders for the mind. The last restorative session I did, I was blissed-out for a good hour afterwards - better than drugs, because there's no downside.

[Leffy]

did you know studies have shown that repeated drinking to the point of a "drunk" or "intense buzz" in persons 18 or younger, has lead to the deterioration of brain cels involving basic social function and motor skills, as well as leads to a higher chance of severe liver/kidney issues by the age of thirty even if said person becomes a teetotaler by age 25?

[Ecchi_Kitty]

Did not know that, but can't say as it susprises me.

[Crazeyal]

Darlica, the fact that you think lying is not part of a healthy relationship shows YOUR naivte. Neither women nor men actually WANT the unfiltered truth. You have to be a diplomat of the HIGHEST order to be completely honest with ANYONE, let alone a mate.

Now, there are levels of this. "Does this make me look fat?" gets a lie even if the answer is no! Why? Because you have to change the subject!
http://www.fivedigits.net/pix/phun/itsatrap.jpg

Men don't want to hear that a particular underwear model is so drop dead gorgeous that their woman would drop trou if he asked for change of a dollar!

[Crazeyal]

In your point of view;
Are men that not display this "horndog" behavior less manly?
Are woman that doesn't fall for it less womanly?
Is it in you point of view impossible for a man to keep his dick in his pants outside a relationship even if he and his woman/partner is a good match sexually?Never said that. I'm talking generalities and male/female tendencies. Plenty of men have long and happy monogomous relationships. Both men and women feel urges towards the opposite sex. People with less self control or personal morals act upon those urges. But EVERYONE feels the attraction.

Again, it's about triggers and stimuli. Given the amount of people I've dated and the physical number of times I've been tempted to act out my attractions (after marriage) you'd assume I had a low sex drive.

If you ask my wife, she'd tell you that I'm some raging beast that never lets her get any sleep. :al: Because my triggers are more about closeness and intimacy. Sure, pheremones work on me, just like any human, but my emotional triggers are of a more personal interactive nature.



To me, a man that is so confident in himself and his sexuality that he feels no need to justify his manliness by the usual "dick measuring activities" is really attractive, it has always been that way... There ARE plenty of women who feel this way, but every female that I know has gone through a "why the hell does she put UP with that???" phase.

Not every guy knows how to manipulate women, and not every guy who knows how ACTS on it. Same for women. But the tendency is there.

I guess I'm just a disgrace to my sex, as usual...:dgrin:Dunno.. Drop trou and send pics.. we'll let you know!!
:al:

[Ruestir]

I understand handling things with care, but honestly, do you really think any kind of lying to a loved one is really a good idea? Especially later when you get caught in it and then mistrust builds. Sorry, I don't follow "lying is a part of a healthy relationship." That's just off.

[Crazeyal]

There's levels of it. Me, for example, had a tendency towards "brutal honesty". I've learned to keep my big mouth shut sometimes, and the relatinship is by far better for it.

[Ruestir]

Keeping your mouth shut is one thing. I've told my wife that there are questions I won't answer, but she also knows that she's the most desirable woman in the world for me. Still ain't answering "does this dress make me look fat?"

[Darlica]

OK. I yield. not because you have made me rethink my position, but because we are basically on the same side but seeing things from different angles and I don't have the proper knowledge in the English language to explain myself further.

Never said that. I'm talking generalities and male/female tendencies. Plenty of men have long and happy monogomous relationships. Both men and women feel urges towards the opposite sex. People with less self control or personal morals act upon those urges. But EVERYONE feels the attraction.

Looking is one thing, acting on it is something completely different... We both window shop so to speak, I know what turns his head (the Nigella Lawson type), he knows what make me swoon and drool (Nathan Fillion for example) we talk and joke about it. Attraction is natural, it's how you deal with it that counts.

I might not be as naive as you think, the honesty thing is what works for us, we have come to that decision together. Role playing is fun, but we both prefer the kind when you sit down with pens and dices and act it out in a fictional world (or the bedroom kind of role play ;) ), in day to day life we both want "wysiwyg" (what you see is what you get), and just because you are honest doesn't mean you have to be tactless. :rolleyes:

Enough of this.
Truce?


If you want to see what I look like, start a Devils Panties Family Album and I promise to post a pic. :D

[kitty!]

did you know studies have shown that repeated drinking to the point of a "drunk" or "intense buzz" in persons 18 or younger, has lead to the deterioration of brain cels involving basic social function and motor skills, as well as leads to a higher chance of severe liver/kidney issues by the age of thirty even if said person becomes a teetotaler by age 25?

I know about it, I've read about it, been lectured about it, have living proof via aquantinces and family members for it, and I know I shouldn't, but the overwhelming pull to get buzzed still lingers.

I was told by a friend of a (ex!) boyfriend that those two looked up my birthday in a book that had 'what your birthday says about you!' and it said that I had a very addictive nature. I've always known I'd need to be careful around mind altering substances, since a young age. If I ever really cut loose, bad things would most definately happen.

[Big Otis Landfish]

Worrying signs...

I'd strongly advise for you to NEVER mess with nicotine in any form. And be a CONTROL FREAK about consumption; don't make drinking a habit - if you NEED a drink, that's a sign you shouldn't have any. Having the constant desire to do something isn't quite addiction... constantly giving in to the desire is.

I have an addictive personality, too... but if you know your demons it's easier to stay on top of them. For instance, I've been around people who could do coke occasionally and casually (roommates, coworkers; I've also seen more than a few ruin or end their lives), but based on how much I freakin' love caffeine, I won't EVER touch stronger stimulants. I'd be a guaranteed problem user. Even for caffeine, I try to go clean off it or reduce consumption every once in a while, just to confirm that I'm the boss.

Alcohol has HUGE potential as a problem drug, and it's so ubiquitous in our society that once you're on, it's very difficult to stay away from it. [/lecture]

:d/:

[Wayne]

Otis makes a very good point.

I have had days where the only thing that I could think of was getting home and climbing into a bottle, but I had enough will power to never drink on those days and only enjoy a drink when I have had good days and don't have the desire to drink.

[Leffy]

i grew up with an alcoholic, and i'll admit i badly want a drink all the time, but if it takes more then one shot to give me a buzz i've been drinking too frequently. its been over two years since i've had a real drink. since thin i've had no more then a quarter shot with enough water and gatorade to make it useless.

[garfalk]

*slides away from conversation with a bottle in both hands*

[Crazeyal]

*slides away from conversation with a bottle in both hands*

Of what.. MILK?!?! YER TWELVE!!!

[Big Otis Landfish]

....both hands...hmm, this is garfalk... must be a big bottle.. HEY!

*grabs it back*

That's my 'liver training' bottle. I'm building tolerance for Korea and the honeymoon.

The funny thing is, at the moment I'm a) massively overeating and b) drinking daily (not enough to feel it for the most part, but a couple of drinks), and I really would rather not do either (kind of neutral on the EtOH, but the food is grossing me out).

And this is plausibly for health reasons. ::)

[Crazeyal]

Right now I'm a tea tot'lah... No booze unti Sept!

Gotta fit my fat ass into the tux in a few weeks.. I'm only at 188, but I figure with a Pirate party on the horizon short losin MIGHT be on the horizon... :rolleyes:

[Big Otis Landfish]

Right now I'm a tea tot'lah... No booze unti Sept!

Gotta fit my fat ass into the tux in a few weeks.. I'm only at 188, but I figure with a Pirate party on the horizon short losin MIGHT be on the horizon... :rolleye:

I'll take 10 lbs of that... by the first week of September, preferably. Currently at 168, and that's 20 lbs MORE than a couple of months ago. Same reason though... good in a tux, and in hanbok, and out of both. :dgrin:

[RazorJAK]

Right now I'm a tea tot'lah... No booze unti Sept!

Gotta fit my fat ass into the tux in a few weeks.. I'm only at 188, but I figure with a Pirate party on the horizon short losin MIGHT be on the horizon... :rolleyes:

I haven't seen 188 since junior high.

Saw the best t-shirt last night at work.

"The Liver is evil. It must be punished."

[Crazeyal]

Oh I still drink like a Marine.. Just THIS side o fourty.. It tends to stay around a bit longer...:d/:

[Wayne]

I haven't seen 188 since junior high.

Saw the best t-shirt last night at work.

"The Liver is evil. It must be punished."

Real nice shirt.

[RazorJAK]

Yeah I think it's to become my new slogan.

Even better than, "Behave in here or I'll donkeypunch your boyfriend on stage."

[Plunder Down-Under]

I dont drink, never have and dont want to. The thing that really pisses me off though is some people in my class always bag out wow as a life ruining addicton but mot of these people go out and get drunk off their face 3 times a week

[/end rant]

[John Northman]

I have tasted alcohol.. Didn't like it.
Never been drunk in my life

I've heard too many of those "woke up somewhere strange and had no idea what I did last night" stories.. Like to keep my mind clear all the times (exept mornings when I haven't had my coffee/tea yet)

[Plunder Down-Under]

I like the Corporal's thinking.

[Ecchi_Kitty]

Never been drunk. Tried once, but it didn't take. Figured I should experience being drunk in a controled enviroment so I'd know what was like. So New Year's Eve, lock up all the sharp objects, make sure the phone is easy to find, and is a clear path to the bathroom, then downed a bottle of Jack Daniels.

Felt slightly ill from drinking a lot on a fairly empty stomach, but that was about it. Now I just stick to the occasional daquri because I like the taste.

[Leffy]

a good drunk is best achieved with your best of friends.

other wise its just an accident waiting to happen

[Wayne]

And it is always way more fun to share drinks with friends also.

[Big Otis Landfish]

Alcohol's a funny one... it's all about situation. There's a reason it's know as a social lubricant - moderate consumption is very good for setting the mood at celebratory events.

@Ecchi... Hard alcohol doesn't really have the perceptual kick of a well-hopped beer. It's not a satisfying drug to experiment out of context. Not saying you should give it another run or anything, but....

My favorite alcohol use is 3 or 4 beers over a couple of hours, sitting outside on a warm evening, and a group of buddies to bullshit with.

[Leffy]

i feel the same about best situation for drinking. the best drinking memories i have are sitting in the back yard, tiki torches lit, citronella candles to huddle around, and splitting a bottle of rum, a bottle of whiskey, and a bottle of top notch scotch, between the three of us from 7 in the evening until we stumble back in the house at dawn. all three of these bottles tend to last us 4 of these therapeutic sessions.

[Big Otis Landfish]

Given that in humanity's distant past, alcohol was relatively difficult to make, required a food surplus, distillation was unknown, and tribal groups were relatively small, the moderate-consumption-with-a-group-of-friends-around-a-fire (eh, torches work as a substitute) is probably the most 'natural' setting there is.

Chugging-a-bottle-of-vodka-and-hugging-the-toilet? Not so much.

[Leffy]

i actually miss those nights. my girlfriend set up her camcorder to record us one night. this night being the "all men should be emasculated" night after my big break up.

three well-buzzed women and the most aggressive thing we could think of was keying his car and stealing his weewee. we got more creative on how to destroy his "baby" then we did on his "buddy"

[Big Otis Landfish]

Hehe.. I've got quite a stash of audio tapes from various nights of inebriation. Gots to bring some clean tape for the trip - I left my recorder over there and can pick it up when I go.

I really need to go through and edit the good stuff... there's tons of random characters and conversations.

[Sehson]

OK. I yield. not because you have made me rethink my position, but because we are basically on the same side but seeing things from different angles and I don't have the proper knowledge in the English language to explain myself further.


If you want to see what I look like, start a Devils Panties Family Album and I promise to post a pic. :D

you seem to have a rather good grasp of english to me.

If you want to add a pic yuo can attach one to your profile. that is different from your avatar.

[Farler]

Maybe it's my english heritage but "natural" alcohol consumption for me would be sitting around the thatch roofed hobble with the 12 kids and wife after 14 hours of back breaking labor in the fields and downing the shit till you pass out cause the water is too polluted to possibly be consumed.

[Mike Taylor]

you seem to have a rather good grasp of english to me.

If you want to add a pic yuo can attach one to your profile. that is different from your avatar.

Admit it, you just want to look at hot Swedish girls! :dgrin:

[Plunder Down-Under]

I officially love Finnish bands, along with Nightwsh heres this little gem http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJbY4Z50GC0

But I dont like H.I.M

[Ecchi_Kitty]

For me, 'proper' drinking involves a quiet pub, wooden bar with barstools, and a bartender who's also the owner, after his father before him.

[kitty!]

well, my aunt runs and is the landlady of a pub here in Dover, called The Lord Nelson.

she's there during the evenings 'cause during the day she manages The First and Last until the brewery sells it.

Gotta say, the younger girls who work there run it better than her boyfriend and the twenty-ish guy.

especially during Kareoke night.

[Crazeyal]

bah.. 20 days left, no booze..

[Mike Taylor]

I think "the best way to get buzzed" needs a visual representation.

http://www.khrysania.com/TeaTimeTerror4/ECHOatOrigins2002.jpg

This was taken at Origins 2002. That's me in the far back with my hands in the air. There were quite a few beers imbibed that weekend.

[Sehson]

Admit it, you just want to look at hot Swedish girls! :dgrin:


No... they don't have to be swedish... :dp: