Arena challenge: Capaign FROM HELL!!

[Crazeyal]

*Opening Themesong*

Waking up at the start of the end of the world,
But its feeling just like every morning before,
Now I wonder what my life is going to mean if its gone,
The cars are moving like a half a mile an hour if that
I started staring at the passengers waving goodbye
Can you tell me what was ever really special about me all this time

But I believe the world is burning to the ground
Oh well I guess we're gonna find out
Let's see how far we've come
Let's see how far we've come (http://www.aimini.net/view/?fid=zFDaHHgEcx7SWFWK5nkm)

The Devil's in the Deed!!
Brought to you by Microsoft

Hey folks!!

Welcome to another episode of The Devil's in the Deed!! this episode gives us another challenge in the Deathmatch Arena!! This time I'm dealing with the grammatically challenged KeegaKurGurk. The judges were just MEAN this time. They.. well.. SEE FOR YOURSELF!!


************************************************** ******
Scene change
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asianmommy: The weapons of choice are... ANYTHING!!
Crazeyal: uh??? ANYTHING??!
Plunder: As long as it involves telling a femist they "needs to make you a sammich!!"
Crazeyal: WHAAAAAAAT???
sabeagle: Y'know [adopts Cartman voice] "Git yer BITCH-ASS in the Kitchen and make me some PIIIE"
Crazeyal: Something tells me that the location isn't going to be..
asianmommy: Hillary Clinton's campaign office!
Crazeyal: So what the hell is the condition of death???
Plunder: meh.. I dunno.. Soup?!?
asianmommy: Sounds good!
sabeagle: DONE!!


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Scene change
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http://www.captionbox.net/images/cat_bamf.jpg

Wait a minute!! How am I supposed to...


Yup..
30 feet off the ground.. sans pillows...

http://www.smilies.ws/smilies/sad0086.gif

A
A
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Crazeyal staggers up from the dumpster he hurtled into, muttering and looking angrilly into the sky. A sudden evil grin forms on his face, and he leaps up to slam the lid closed on the container. A huge sneer of evil glee covers his face as the red skinned Devil looks expectantly up at the sky.

and waits..

annnnnd waits ...

annnnnnnnnnnd waits...


KeegaKurGurk: What ar we waitin for?

Crazeyal: NNNNGAH!!!:d8o: DON'T DO THAT!!!

KeegaKurGurk: do wht?? *looks around* so.. uh.. Wht's comin dwn? *looks up again*

Crazeyal: Uh.. YOU!!! Why the HELL did *I* get dropped from thirty feet and YOU get to "just show up"?!?!?

KeegaKurGurk: I dnno..

Crazeyal: Dude.. WTF did you just say??

KeegaKurGurk: I dnno.. wht did I sy???

Crazeyal: What the crinkly CRUNK is that?? How in the HELL do you have a l33t accent when you speak?!?! Did you go to Keanu Reeves Elementary??? And DUUUDE... while we're at it.. Shaggy's lawyer called... he wants the "do" back...

KeegaKurGurk: Ohhh.. not kewl... jst caus I speek a lil fast does NOT give yu th right tu make fn of me...

Crazeyal: Okay... I got KEWL and NOT... The rest of that was just..



As Al and KeegaKurGurk had started stepping towards each other, neither had noticed the large man creeping up behind them. Both combatents started hurling insults loudly, raising fists and assuming combat stances. Two humoungous hands reach out and grab both men with a shout of..


GENTLEMEN!!!

Eyess on MEEE!!!

:eek::d8o:

Oooh migod... They said the interns were cUUUUTE but oooooohmigod!!! Iloveyerteenylittlegoatee and *GASSSP* theredthingisSOOOOinrightnow!!!

Hugs Everyone HUGS!!!


The intruder's buldging biceps barely register the weight of both men, as they are litterally swept off their feet and drug inside a nearby door. Both are too shocked to struggle, they just look at each other, wide eyed.

As the door closes, a hastily taped signed floats lazily back down onto the steel exit. "Clinton volunteer smoking area. No Tobacco products, Cute red dresses, or saying the "O" word inside the building!"






To be continued

[Crazeyal]

Hello everyone... I'm ADAM.. and you two must be the new Interns!! I admit the "Scooby Doo" and "Horny lil Devil" look kiiiiIiinda freeks me out... buuUUuutt we need all the BEHINDS manning the phones!!! OOH! Oh!! I got it.. We need you two to be MODELS!!! GIRLS!! LAaadies!!!

KeegaKurGurk and Al barely got a chance to THINK about objecting when suddenly Women of ALL SIZES, SHAPES AND AGES come out of the woodwork and start stripping the two men's clothes off. Both men are suddenly wearing pink bermuda SHORT shorts and matching tops.

Crazeyal: Dude.. EAT SOMETHING.. Jezus H. CRUMPET!! You are makin Shaggy look like ARNOLD!!

KeegaKurGurk: yah.. they hve TANNING BEDS down in hell? Yu aint zactly red everywhere!!


OOO Burrrrn!!

Now Now.. We need you two being NICE.. The Ladies of the NEXT PRESIDENT need to decide on our newest give-away T-shirt!! You two cat-fighting will have to wait... for me to get some Wesson Oill rowr...

The large blond haired man looks at the two and licks his lips, much to the chagrin of the pair. He motions them to a make-shift backstage, which is pretty much just a sheet strung up between cubicles. Most of the women had abandoned similar cubicles to gather around, and the phones were still ringing in the background. The bulbously muscled man drew them in closer with a lean and a wink.

Okay now listen.. MS. Clinton is making a surprise visit a bunch of screeches and "ohmyghod" repitions garnered her arrival.Since you boys took yer DARN SWEET TIME getting here, you are gonna have to WING it. I have been STRETCHED TO THE LIMIT.. MM MM MM.. Everytime that no-good husband speaks I gotta go put out fires and save maidens.. *sigh* makes me feel like the old days... Me n Sis righting wrongs.. protecting Eter...



An Older man, dressed in classic "Secret Service" garb puts a finger over the effeminate muscleman's lips. The blond man looks chagrinned as he slinks backward from the stern gaze of the mustached Agent.

"You heard NOTHING, you'll SAY nothing, and no-one here is related to Mrs Clinton but MR. Clinton.. GOT IT??"

The pair shook their heads a confused "yes" and the agent went to the front of the room to stand and STARE.

oooOoKAY Mr Military.. HMMPH.. I *STILL* outrank you yaknow.. annnNNnnyway.. Like I said.. Madame candidate is out there, and *I* haven't had time to make new slogans! The printer is RIGHT BACK HERE. You make his, he makes yours.. ISN'T THAT JUST DARLING!! OKAY SIS!! HERE COME THE BOYS!!!

KeegaKurGurk and Al stare at each other evily, shrug and immediatly start BEATING THE CRAP OUT OF EACH OTHER for control of the the T-shirt machine!

*********************************************
2 minutes later
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Adam is prancing in front Hillary and Bill Clinton, the stern faced Secret Agent making it CLEAR that he wants to put a bullet RIGHT between SOMEONE'S eyes.

OKaaAAaayy S.. Ms. Candidate.. whoopsiee We have a surprise... Some of the boys from state University.. you know.. the artists.. weird people.you'll just EAT EM UP.. not you Bill

BC: Whatever ya prancin fairy...

HC: Now Bill.. You be NICE for a change to my.. Head volunteer..

BC: Heh.. you said Head..

KeegaKurGurk stumbles out first, wearing a slightly tattered T-shirt that says "Hillary 2008!" on the front, a simple clean design. The ladies applaud politely, and KeegaKurGurk stumbles around to show a knot on the back of his head and "Hell.. Four more years couldn't kill us.. could it??" on the back of the shirt. The crowd of women gasp in horror as KeegaKurGurk shakes his head and angrilly runs back behind the curtain. A couple of loud thumps are heard and then Crazeyal comes flying out in a "Hillary 2008! Hey.. She'll scare the PANTS off the rest of the world once a month!!" T-shirt.

The cricket doesn't even chirp!

:eek::eek::eek:

Crazeyal does a flying leap back behind the curtain, several loup thumps and unmistakable sound of a coffee pot being broken over a forehead emerges. Then so does KeegaKurGurk, wearing a "Hillary 2008! Back in the Whitehouse.. but still in the KITCHEN!!" T-shirt!!

KADINK

One woman looks down at her hand, horrified that she actually commited violence against someone. Then she re-reads the t-shirt and looks for ANOTHER coffee mug to fling!

KeegaKurGurk runs back, only to find Al running at him with a transfer and a hot Iron. The spindly young man screams like a Baneshe as the hot metal is slammed into his chest. His back arches in pain and he involuntarily spins out of control, landing midstage in front of the horrified volunteers.

VOTE FOR HILLARY
BILL WILL TELL HER WHAT TO DO!!
Like any husband should!

Riot.

RIOT

RIOT

To be continued

[Crazeyal]

The Volunteers started flinging coffee mugs, chairs, one beefy woman got a DESK up over her head, but the Secret Service agent tackled her while shouting for everyone to "CALM DOWN!!!"

With Al and KeegaKurGurk constantly stamping each other with worse and worse Male chauvanisms, the ladies were worse than an angered African Beehive! When "Too old to breed, Ankles too fat for barefoot.. MIGHT AS WELL BE PRESIDENT!!!" came out, the volunteers got ORGANIZED!!!

READY.. stapleguns!! FIRE!!

Both men are hit with 6 inch staples and flyers designed for telephone poles.

REAAAADYYY FRISBEE SQUAD FIRE!!!

Thirty Hillary Frisbees, adorned with fresh out-of-the-box business cards on the rims, slice into the two combatents and leave a bloody trail.

KeegaKurGurk: Wtf?!?! thuh hll ws that??

Crazeyal: Aint never seen fresh cut cards before *cough* *gasp* Things r DEADLY man..

READY.. FLYER DROP GO!!

Crazeyal: Ohhhh CRAP.. I'm OUUTA HERE!!

KeegaKurGurk: Dude it's just PAPER...

Crazeyal: YOU EVER SEE HOW MUCH PAPER THEY USE???!!

The skies darken.

KeegaKurGurk: Totally not worried...

The sound of approaching Helicopters drums like angry hornets.

KeegaKurGurk: *yawn*

From no-where Vaugner's "Ride of the Valkyries" starts playing

KeegaKurGurk:Sooo not worried..

Crazeyal: WHY THE HELL NOT?!?!

Just as the pink wearing minions of Hillary start their attack with thousands of pounds of leaflets, the wind whips up from the opposite direction. The leaflets flurry up in a minature hurricane. A deafening sound that could shatter mountains rips out into the evening sky.



MRAAAAAWWWWWW

KeegaKurGurk: Cause *I* have a DRAGON!!!

To be continued

[Crazeyal]

Last time on The Devil's in the Deeds:

Oh Boys...
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If the other countries are LAUGHING AT US, we won't get attacked!! VOTE HILLARY!!

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MRAWWWWWWWWWWWW


Now.... BACK TO THE SHOW!!!

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The Dragon rears back and unleashes a blast of fire that engulfs not only the swirling papers but the Helos themselves. Then the monsterous beast turns it's head towards Crazeyal.

Crazeyal: oooo K.. was NOT ready for THAT one...

The Secret Service agent pulls an impossibly long firearm out of his black suit jacket and whips it up with a professional's speed. Before the Dragon has a chance to move it's head towards the new threat, he's squeezed off three rounds that seem more like rockets than bullets.

KeegaKurGurk: It'll take more than that to get my Melphine's hide to SCRATCH.. SICCEM!!

The Dragon, apparently hurt a BIT more than just scratched from the rockets, lashes out with her tail. It hits the agent square in the chest, sickeningly we tearing sounds come as he lands 20 feet away.

"s-should've worn m-my armooorrr" the wounded agent says, as a shocked and wide-eyed Hillary Clinton stares down at the broken and bleeding form.

"D-daddy??"

"THAT'S IT!!! NO MORE HIDING!!!"

"NO MORE POLITICS!!!"

SHIIIING!!



**********************************************
Two days ago
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LLalallala laaaaa
Just POLISHIN my sword.. Just polishin my sword... Oh.. Ya know.. Maybe I ought to polish Adora's .. *sigh* I mean "The Senator's Sword....

**********************************************
An hour ago
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SS Agent: Adam.. I SWEAR .. if you mess up things THIS time.. WHY did you you bring THOSE swords?? THOSE DAYS ARE OVER!!

Adam:I just thought she might like to practice.. it's BEEN A WHILE... Exercise is GOOD fer you YA KNOW.. MEANIE!!

SS Agent: SO SHE'LL GO JOGGING!! PEOPLE HERE DO NOT SWORD FIGHT!! PUT THOSE IN THE BACK!!

**********************************************
5 minutes ago
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HC: *gasp* I can't BELIEVE you brought them!!

Adam: Aww I knew you'd like it!! Yer dad's such a meanie... You want to..

HC: no.. not here.. but.. maybe later.. MUCH later.. the..park.. midnight?? Best two out of three??

**********************************************
NOW


HC: THAT DOES IT!!! (*Reaches into hallway*) FOR THE HONOR OF GREYSKULL!!!!

Adam: SIS NO!!!

[*Cue Eighties Theme music*]


I HAVE THE P....

Adam: Sis.. NO!! THAT'S *MY* SWORD!!

PENIS!!!

http://i187.photobucket.com/albums/x272/crazeyal/hillary.jpg


She - Man

And the Masters of the Universe!!

Barack Obama: Masters?? I KNEW this was gonna get racial!!

She- Man: COMON DRAGON!! LET ME MASH YOU WITH MY MASSIVE MALE PARTS!!!

Melphine: http://i187.photobucket.com/albums/x272/crazeyal/keke.jpg

YIPE YIPE YIPE YIIIIPPE

HC: Now that THAT's done.. *slings sword away* Oh BILLL.. I have something to DISCUSS with you...

BC: Homina hommina Hominna...

Everyone just stared at the carnage. Flaming and crashing helocopters, retreating Dragon, Ex-First ex-Lady chasing down fromer President. KeegaKurGurk was staring along with the rest of them. He was NOT exactly ready when Crazeyal whispered into his ear "Hey KEKE.. You'll just NEVER guess what I found on the floor...



I

HAVE

THE

POWERRRRRR

HE--devil..

KeegaKurGurk ran for all he was worth. He rounded the corner and ran STRAIGHT into an immovable object. The former Prince Adam!!

Adam: *Sniff* Poor Sis.. We didn't MEAN to come here... I just wanted some of the old days.. I didn't MEAN to swap the swords..

KeegaKurGurk desperately grabbed the She-Ra sword and held it aloft.

FOR THE %#$#$ING HONOR OF GREYSKULL

[cue Aerosmith's DUDE LOOKS LIKE A LADY]

I'VE

LOST

MY

JUUUUUUUNK

The two hulking creaturs that used to be Crazeyal and KeegaKurGurk snarl and growl at each other (accompanied bya "Tee hee" from KeegaKurGurk)

Adam: NOOO!! Those swords aren't meant to hit each other in anger!! That's how we..

CLANG!!

Got here...

A swirling vortex opens directly between the two swords, growing exponentially by the second. Former Prince Adam grabs onto a tabltop and han\gs on for dear life. The two combatents are not so lucky. They are drawn straight into the collapsing black hole.

YOU JUST HAVE TO AP...


Both comabtents fall for what seems like forever. Even with the added skills, stamina and strength, they cannot hold themselves upright when the falling finally stops. Grey-black ooze surrounds them, and they lay in the stinking mud, exausted from the incredible journey. Crazeyal is the first to rise, but he is joined quickly by his disturbingly female counterpart.

Crazeyal:d- dude.. oh.. uh.. s-*snicker* sorry... I think we CAN'T fight here...

KeegaKurGurk: (fighting a falsetto voice) *HEM* AHEM.. yah.. urmm.. *spit* (rubs crotch) Okay.. so uh.. WHY NOT??

Crazeyal: Uh.. I've uh.. TRAVELLED a bit.. I recognize this spot.. This is the Primordial SOUP. Anything we do here can CHANGE HISTORY!!

KeegaKurGurk: so uh.. AHEM!! I mean SO UH.. What's the solution? He said you had to Ap something..

Crazeyal: Milady.. He's from an EIGHTIES CARTOON!! We just have to APOLOGIZE!! *holds sword out* I'm sorry I swung at you.

KeegaKurGurk: okay sweetie I apologize too!! DAMMIT!!

The swords start to glow. Overly sweet electronic music starts playing.

KeegaKurGurk: Oh Al.. Let's forget this whole KILL EACH OTHER THING..

Crazeyal: *swipes sword and dives into rapidly closing energy cloud* Did I MENTION how much I hate to lose??

KeegaKurGurk: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

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Five billion years later (give or take a milenium or three.. hundred..)

*******************************************

Crazeyal: Okay.. You guys agree that the Primordial SOUP, having little oxegen, no food, and toxic substances KILLED KeegaKurGurk and fufilled the situations for the challenge..

asianmommy:Yup
Plunder:Yup
sabeagle:Yup!

Crazeyal: So could you PLEASE ressurect him and get him OUT of the Primordial soup so the rest of the *#%$ING PLANET CAN STOP LOOKING LIKE THIS?!?!?

http://www.devilspanties.com/forums/customprofilepics/profilepic230_1.gif

[Plunder Down-Under]

Plunder points behind Crazeyal who turns around to see KeegaKurGurk standing staring vacantly upwards again.

"Treacherous, Unpredictable and often vulgar. I'm curious as to how Keega will return the favor. Remember unpredictability is one thing we love here and beginners luck may still win out the day.

But for now we allow a brief break before the next Merciless Massacre and we gleam insights from our remarkable remaining judges, before we peer into the perverse depraved minds of our beloved audience. So Pipe and have your say! Yes I mean you!"

[sableagle]

Wow. Very imaginative and unpredictable, but you never specifically said any of them needed to make you a sandwich and the KeegaKurGarble wasn't consistently maintained or restricted to KeegaKurQuotes. If you're going to make a point of it, you need to be a little more careful with your own editing.

Do we score before or after Keega responds?

[Crazeyal]

You judges make scores any way you feel like. You can make points for each roleplay, or just vote which one you like better after both have been posted. Just agree on the format between the three of you.

[asianmommy]

This was really very imaginative, took story turns i was not expecting. I agree with the comments and assessments made by the other judges. I think that your use if imagery was pretty damn funny and your use of the setting was also prevalent.

Way to go, i'm excited to see how Keega replies to this.

Judges, How do you guys wanna work the vote? I'll go alone with whatever system works for you.

[sableagle]

I can't come up with a sane, fair and reliable way to do this that's really better than just posting a score, but I think we should wait for Keega's response then rate both parts ... or even run all three rounds then score all six parts. That way we have a better idea of the range of quality within which we're scoring this.

[asianmommy]

I can't come up with a sane, fair and reliable way to do this that's really better than just posting a score, but I think we should wait for Keega's response then rate both parts ... or even run all three rounds then score all six parts. That way we have a better idea of the range of quality within which we're scoring this.

I agree, with doing all six parts, that way we have a comparison. but if not, scoring each whole round of both efforts is the best choice.

[Crazeyal]

Well, the way it's usually worked best has been scoring each round. This way, the winner gets to go last on the second round, and we know if a third round is actually needed. But you guys are in charge, whatever you decide is fine by me!

[sableagle]

Well, we could score the first two to decide who goes first on the third, but the scores could be 10-8, 9-8 ... 8-3, which works out as 22-24 so third round could change it, see?

Keeeeeeeeeegaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!! You're up!

[Crazeyal]

Yeah well.. With *MY* lateness I'm not gonna be the person to point fingers :d(:

[kitty!]

Que? This is all sorts of random.

[Crazeyal]

There's another one.

It's the Arena combat. Best of three rounds. You kill the other opponant in pre-determined manners with specific weapons chosen by the three judges. KEKE is up next. He has to explain away his own death and then kill me in the same manner. He can either no-sell (wrestling term) my roleplay or work with it, but no-selling usually just looks lame.

And this is WAY more random than usualy because the judges really didn't give us much to work with. Just Hillary's campaign, the weapons were angry feminists reacting to us wearing "go bake me some PIE!!" t-shirts or the like, and drowing in soup as the cause of death... Comon.. I hadda get ALL KINDS of random to make a decent story from THAT...

[KeegaKurGurk]

At best I could try for something this friday cause of stupid class schedual......
So i will be workin on it the rest of this week..


Al that was definitly awesome and I almost feel the urge to conceede but instead I will atempt to create something that might kill you.

[Plunder Down-Under]

Rather you take a couple extra days and post a good one than rush it and make it shoddy.

Good luck, I may be the neutral judge, but the Aussie in me wants the underdog to win :D

[KeegaKurGurk]

:: Keega looks strait at the red devil:: Clones ATTACK!!!!
:: 300 people come out of the darkness converging on Al’s location:: ALL STOP!! See this is the problem with killing me in the primordial ooze ::Keega smiles evilly at the now trembling demonic creature.:: See I know I probably wont win this round but humiliation is a satisfaction all in its own. Pick him up and bring him to the vat.


Much marching, Als protesting, dead clones, and black eyes later.

Ah we are here finally. Throw him in!
::The remaining clones try to throw Al in the vat of tomato soup.::
You wont be able to kill me like this! It doesn’t match the criteria!

I don’t care this is for my satisfaction not for the win. THROW HIM IN ALREADY!!
::The clones restrain Al by the wrists and ankles, Then proceed to toss the helpless devil in to the vat. Al calls back.:: This isn’t even hot!

Did I say it was a “hot vat”?
::Keega walks over to the nearby control panel and sets the vat to freeze.::
This may not kill you but now your suit is ruined and you will be stuck for a while.
Have a nice day!!

::Keega arrives back at the Judges area.:: Yes that probably wasn’t what you had in mind but it was fun for me. Judge as harshly as you would like to I wont mind..

:Judges in unison: Wheres AL?

::Keega replies::Chillen out.
(Short and sweet sorry i couldnt come up with anything quite as epic as Al did.)

[Crazeyal]

My Suit...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooOOOOOoooooooooo

[Crazeyal]

*sigh*

:dmad:

:didea:

:al:

*busts out the BLACK SUIT*

Now you get the EVIL side...

http://i187.photobucket.com/albums/x272/crazeyal/suavedevil.gif

[KeegaKurGurk]

hehehehehehe I may get the evil side but it could be more fun :dp:

[Crazeyal]

Judges??

[sableagle]

Ummm ... didn't involve Clinton's sweatshop or the rally, didn't use specified weapons, didn't kill Al at all, didn't drown anyone in soup, didn't explain longevity, didn't make grotesque use of the dragon's presumed ability to go between, didn't pull a hideous "soup dragon" pun, did nail Al's suit.

Round two to follow! Get posting ideas in the "random and weird" thread.

[asianmommy]

Ummm ... didn't involve Clinton's sweatshop or the rally, didn't use specified weapons, didn't kill Al at all, didn't drown anyone in soup, didn't explain longevity, didn't make grotesque use of the dragon's presumed ability to go between, didn't pull a hideous "soup dragon" pun, did nail Al's suit.

Round two to follow! Get posting ideas in the "random and weird" thread.

yeah, agree. i think that while it was kind of funny, it didn't seem to continue or explain from Al's.

[Crazeyal]

Well he took the "KeKa-clone" idea from me, that's how I ended the RP.

[Plunder Down-Under]

In the end of Al's Keega had infested all of humanity AgentSmith like by being killed in the soup of all creation. He obviously evolved into some kind of hive mind and used al's own punchline against him.

It wont win him the round but I quite enjoyed the cleverness of it :D

[KeegaKurGurk]

yea i wasnt going for the win this time I was way to pressured with class work to come up wiht something EPIC!! so i just spun it off as a suprise ending... but yea

[asianmommy]

yea i wasnt going for the win this time I was way to pressured with class work to come up wiht something EPIC!! so i just spun it off as a suprise ending... but yea

I know you'll do something epic when you're less busy. you're pretty good at epic.

[KeegaKurGurk]

im pretty good at over the top but epic eludes me *le sigh*