Anyone want to learn to sail?

[Mistyrae]

Yes, I'm a noob. Yes, I started a new thread with my virgin post. Mwahahahahaha!

hehe

Ok, here's why! One of my friends sails around the world on a ship called the Picton Castle. An actual sailing ship. It only costs about 15 thousand dollars for people who aren't employees to journey around the world.

I hate him, seriously, he gets to sail on an ACTUAL sailing ship!

Anyhoo, they're having a contest to GIVE AWAY a sailing voyage (worth about 12 thousand dollars). I'm saving up to move to Belgium. I can't afford to take those four months off from work. *sob!*

However, if anybody here would like to learn how to sail...take a four month vacation experiencing just about the closest thing to being an actual pirate...here's the link to enter the contest:

www.picton-castle.com/contest

*disclaimer* If anybody that I give this link to happens to actually win said trip, I demand MANY pictures...and rum.

[Mike Taylor]

Welcome aboard, Mistyrae.

*hands over riot gear*

Put this on and hope for the best.

*puts ear to the ground... hears a familiar rumbling*

*looks out to the horizon and sees a massive cloud of dust being kicked up by something moving really fast*

Here they come.

*Runs and hides.*

[Mistyrae]

I'm a daycare mommy. I own a one year old lab...and a half siamese demon. And yet...I'm still scared!

*eep!*

[Sehson]

*hands Mistyrae a towel*

Remember always have your towel.... you'll need it

*runs*

[Disco Duck]

::gears up and dashes in to POUNCE the NEWBIE!:: Muahahahahahaha.

[Travellar]

*GLOMP!*

<---- Runs away before the air support or kittens arrive.

[Mike Taylor]

::gears up and dashes in to POUNCE the NEWBIE!:: Muahahahahahaha.

*grabs Disco Duck by the collar*

Not yet. You've got 31 posts to go. ;)

[DarkPirateShea]

*hands Mistyrae a towel*

Remember always have your towel.... you'll need it

*runs*

*sqee!*

*is excited cuz she understood the reference*

[Sabertooth Kitten]

PREHISTORIC NOOBIE POUNCE!!

*Hurries to get out of the Troll's way*

[IK the Troll]

There is no wind in the sails.....

Still waters, Red Tide.....

Fog obscures all vision....

The compass spins like a mad man.....

Was that thunder or flatulence?.....

Darkness.....

:dgrin: ~@_@~<{TROLL POUNCE!!!}>~@_@~ :dgrin:

Avast!

[Mistyrae]

*jumps out from behind a corner*

Ha! You all fell for the Noob-pouncer decoys (all rights reserved).

*grabs towel and throws it over her head*

Stealth NOOB!

[sableagle]

*steps out of shower*

*dries self on towel*

[Mistyrae]

Squeal!

*runs like hell*

pant...pant...pant

*removes clothing in effort to be more aerodynamic*

OUTTA MY WAY SUCKAZ!!!!!!!

*runs like the roadrunner...on crack*

[IK the Troll]

It is unwise to fool the King of Trolls.......

[Mistyrae]

(wonders if it's wise then to troll the king of fools*)




*refers to nobody in particular, simply a thought generated by sleep deprivation and baklava overdose

[Mike Taylor]

We have a runner, folks! Time to call in a professional.



HEY! CRAZEYAL!

[Mistyrae]

*skids around a corner*

pant...pant...pant...

*slits open a bag of skittles, scatters them around*

omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg, skittles aren't going to be enough!

*speedbakes a few dozen mint chocolate chip cookies and quickly piles them in the middle of the hallway*

Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

*runs even faster*

[Crazeyal]

*The lights flicker, dim and die*


With a metallic reverberating KLATCH a single spotlight breaks the darkness.

A red skinned man in a pure white suit saunters out into the sole source of illumination. A huge diamond sits atop a stylized cane, reflecting myriads of colors onto a surprised Mistyrae.

From places unseen, sound moves into the darkened landscape like a lover's touch. Intruments in master's hands preen and pluck, a cacophony of string, drum and shaped steel.

Thats when the tango music starts...


He's on her mid-HEARTBEAT...

Surprised, she takes a half step back to run, to fight to SOMETHING.. instantly his hand has snaked behind her back and his stance overbalences her. With a smirk and a dark leer, he forces her backward.. into a dip.

:al:

He leans closer to her, whispering in her ear "... and I just love your dress Madame" which is when Mistyrae realized the extent of what she was NOT wearing. She wanted to protest, to explain it was more aerodynamic.. that a TROLL tried to sit on her...

But she was wisked away, twirling, spinning STOP

She is at arms length, hand held high, wide eyed with surprise and fear. With a flick of the wrist she spins the opposite direction, straight into his waiting arms.

LIGHTS!!!

Have you ever danced with the Devil in the pale moon light?

:dgrin:

I.. am Crazeyal.

Behind you is RazorJAK and I believe you've met IK the Troll.

MALOCHI CRUNCH








Was it good for you?





Pounce da newbie... *bip*

[sableagle]

*soars cheerfully overhead*

*pounces Al and the newbie*

Awwwww. so sweet! *winghugs the pair of 'em*

Now ... you said something about Jak? Is he going to be pouncing? I'll be getting out of the way then.

Here, Misty, you dropped this.

*hands her the towel*

[Crazeyal]

Uh.. sorry..

I guess you forgot about the German WW2 helmet I wear for pouncings. I usually get Panda butt on my head when I don't...

Have some Bactine..

[Sehson]

Hey now... you have never gotten My butt on your head.... The closest my butt has ever been to you horn is when I licked your horn...

:d8o:

Wow that sounds really really bad....

:dgrin:

*Licks Als horn*

Yep to much salt.... You really should visit some of the other area's of hell, in stead of just the sucubus's play pens... :dp:

[sableagle]

Al has clearly not seen the nature documentary that clearly demonstrates eagles pounce on quite a shallow angle, not vertically.

Thanks for the Bactine, though. If it's anything like Dettol it'll make a great growth medium for some specialised bacteria.

[Mistyrae]

I feel so violated!


Do it again!

[sableagle]

Which of us? Which part? I can't dance and I don't think Al can fly.

[Mistyrae]

*purrrrrsssss*

Can I re-noob myself?



Tangoed with a devil, pounced on by an eagle...


If I were to run again...could I get an instant replay? :D

[Mike Taylor]

87 more posts and you can be one of the pouncers. :)

[KiaKat]

NewbienoobienewbynoobiNOOOOB!

Hehehehehehehehehehehehehe

Peeks nose out of room. ZOMG! It's NoObIE!!!!!

Thumpa Thumpa Thumpa Thumpa

*runs past noobie, adjusting a tiller along the way, and maybe a couple sails, as well*

cRaSh

grrr. Let's try that again. *shakes head*

*Pushes off wall*

*Aiming at noobie...*

You see a small creature smiling maniacally, and feel fear. This is something you've never encountered before, and it looks as though the creature is probably crazier than the Cheshire Cat, and too focused to be distracted by sparkly vibrating mongooses covered in chocolate and/or catnip and/or pudding, but has been known to disturb the King of the Trolls, so definitely FEER DA KITTEH!

Mwuahahahaha

And here we go...

Aiming...

Wiggle-butt...

Tail-twitch...

Runs at newbie...

Bypasses noob, speed at Mach 2, flies around corner...

Runs back around corner, putting the fear of Kitten into all watching...

POuNce dA nOobIE!!!!!

Hi!

[Evandril]

Oohhh.....a crafty one! I like!

*fires up his 'surplus' detection set*

Wow, that's the first time I've seen a radar signature wince...Hopefully she didn't want that decoy back

*makes certain he's got the right newbie*

*PoUnCE Da NeWbIe!*

Welcome to the boards! And sorry about that, Kia, didn't mean to bounce you into Al..

Al, think that was worth another round in your thread ;)

[Mistyrae]

Just out of curiosity (and because I'm drunk and have nobody to talk to)...has anybody entered the contest?

[KiaKat]

Have no one to talk to?

Join the Devil's Panties' Chat Room! #devil'spanties on irc.irchighway.net!

[Mike Taylor]

Just out of curiosity (and because I'm drunk and have nobody to talk to)...has anybody entered the contest?

I've had to take a pass on it. Too many knee and back issues keep me from scaling rigging and whatnot.

[Evandril]

Only four month breaks I get are NOT things that involve the sea, unfortunatly ;)

[DrT]

*Pokes head out of lab*

Ciel ! Un Nooby ! Zer Gut !

*Disapears back into lab, metallic sounds are heard, a few glass containers are broken, reappears with a..... device, seemingly composed entirely of needles except for the handle part*

Lessseeeeeeee yaya zer guut !

*gather samples of pouncers in a lightning quick fashion and disappears back in to the lab*
*rustling*
*more broken glass*
*swearing in false german*
*thunder/lightning*
*a hearse is being lifted*
*The doc comes out running*

Unleash the POUNCEATOR

*A creature emerges from the lab and sniffes the air. it looks like IK, Jak, Al, Seshon, and pretty much everybody, with a strange blend of cow and.... platipus*

*It zeros on the noob and starts running*

*a separate set of limbs lauches it in the air*


PATAGABOUMDABOPOUNCE!


*doc wrings hands happily*
Yayay zeeer guut ! Ye be properly pounced now !

[sableagle]

Doc, I don't know what you've been brewing down there that's done that to your accent(s) but believe me this is for your own good and the safety of species worthy of protection!

*throws thermite grenade into the lab*

*throws rucksack full of thermite after it just to make sure*

[DrT]

*Watches from a safe distance as thermite starts it's work*

Ach ! Heat, then ? Yaya... Zeeeeer gut !
Though ve should haf removed high octane fuel for revolutionary engine first, ya ?

Zat and the enriched Uranium I kept for slow nights vill make plenty colors, ya !


*Runs away fast*


*no, no, I mean FAST*

[Mike Taylor]

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c61/anastasthetraveler/blowedup.jpg

Dammit, sableagle blew up the thread....

[Mistyrae]

*sniffle*my first ever thread got exploded? :(

*puts on her hazmat suit and proceeds to sweep up the ashes*

[KiaKat]

Sadly, that's typical around here.

Just be glad it was only blown up. We've had a couple...

No. Not going there. Nope.

[sableagle]

That wasn't this thread.

That's Al losing it over in the roleplay forum.

This thread's just got a big glowing pit where the lab used to be, plus a radioactive ash plume.

[Crazeyal]

Hey..

*I'M* not the one throwing radioactive firebombs... and I only did a LITTLE neck nibblin.. so there...:al:

[KiaKat]

Eh, at least the squid didn't show up.

[Mike Taylor]

*sniffle*my first ever thread got exploded? :(

*puts on her hazmat suit and proceeds to sweep up the ashes*

Just be glad there weren't any mastodons or dancing Hitler clones.

[KiaKat]

Or mongooses.

Sparkly, catnip-covered, chocolate-flavoured mongooses.

That vibrate.

[Sehson]

*throws wet paper bag of Sparkly, catnip-covered, chocolate-flavoured mongooses. into radioactive pit...*

What everyone knows that they absorb radiation... it makes them more sparkly...

Glowy tooo:jbangel:

[Evandril]

You seem to have forgotten the 'hyperactive' part...and you just overdosed them on energy...

Running MIGHT be good about now ;)

[Mistyrae]

Only a LITTLE neck nibblin? Hurrumph, I don't remember you nibbling my neck during our little tango...trust me, had you nibbled my neck...um...I'll stop now

[sableagle]

Only a LITTLE neck nibblin? Hurrumph, I don't remember you nibbling my neck during our little tango...trust me, had you nibbled my neck...um...I'll stop now

Only a LITTLE neck rubbin? I don't plum mine beer hour myrrh ...

Well, I can fix the first part of that. *has fingers*

[Crazeyal]

*snicker*

This was the "Orgy thread"... Which had surprisingly little naughty stuff going on...

*kisses Mityrae's fingertips*

But I...

*travels up the arm, lightly brushing lips against the barest of skin*

DO have my moments...

*plays with a lock of hair and brushes the back of the fingertips against Mistyrae's neck*

:al:

[Crazeyal]

Well, I can fix the first part of that. *has fingers**steps on sabeagle's toes*

Goaway son ya bother me..

[sableagle]

*steps on sabeagle's toes*That's twice in two posts.

Goaway son ya bother me..That's because you forgot to take your heart medication again, Grandad.

[Crazeyal]

Wyioughta....

[Mistyrae]

Now now now, we can settle this like civilized creatures. See, if you were to take turns, then I could always (as the unbiased third party) judge which is better exuberance or experience. Now, would either of you have a problem with this idea?

:jbdevil:









*disclaimer: The Misty has had another night of sleep deprivation and takes no responsibility for ideas and naughtinesss that her mind and body may involve themselves in*

[Loyd]

I spent 30 years in the Navy, about 27 of those years at sea, but never on a sailing ship.
Sounds like fun to this old sea dog.
Oh HO! And what do we have here? A Beauty that far surpasses any mermaid or Siren that I ever heard tell of.
Ah me, Too old now (and much too happily married) to do more than enjoy the vision of loveliness as she graces us with her presence.
Greetings Mistyrae, Loyd at your service. *bows*

[Mistyrae]

Greetings Loyd

I can't lie (damn spell casters), your flattery is most appreciated on this so stressful a day.

As the grand daughter of a WW2 Navyman and the daughter of a man who would have been a dwarf had he not been born a human, I am ever so pleased to meet you.

*curtsies, then leans down to kiss Loyd on top of his cute little Dwarven head*

[Loyd]

Greetings Loyd

I can't lie (damn spell casters), your flattery is most appreciated on this so stressful a day.

As the grand daughter of a WW2 Navyman and the daughter of a man who would have been a dwarf had he not been born a human, I am ever so pleased to meet you.

*curtsies, then leans down to kiss Loyd on top of his cute little Dwarven head*

'Tis no flattery lass, your beauty and wit are a refreshing miracle for this old sailor.
You are the kind of lass a man would voyage 'round the globe to find. And then having found you, the fortunate man would count himself blessed above all mortals if you deigned to smile upon him with favor.

My beloved wife is another such as yourself, and I had to voyage clear to Thailand 3 times before she agreed to wed me. If I died tomorrow, I would still count myself blessed that she by some miracle came to love someone twice her age all those years ago.

[sableagle]

Now now now, we can settle this like civilized creatures. See, if you were to take turns, then I could always (as the unbiased third party) judge which is better exuberance or experience. Now, would either of you have a problem with this idea?

:jbdevil:Only one, really. By the time we're both within range, it seems silly to waste those precious opportunities on taking turns when it might be better to take sides.Sides of the bed, that is.