Can I get some critique yo?

[niki lemonade]

I'd love to get some feedback from you guys about my webcomic. It's got shoujo-ai (lesbian) content, but nothing graphic. It's sort of manga-styled, but not horrendously so. The link's in my signature, and I'm lazy.

Thanks guys!

[Sehson]

The art is decent... you have a good style...

the story is well not my thing, too teen drama.... but hey don't let that be a distractor I'm quite sure there are plenty of people that will like that type of story...

All in all it looks decent and you have a decent flow... good work.

[niki lemonade]

I figured the whole high school drama thing wouldn't be too popular at this site. But thanks for looking past that! And thanks for the kind words. Anything you think I can improve upon?

[Sehson]

your art is decent, it will grow and change the more you do it.

The story... wel its still rather early to tell. But you seem to have a decent start just keep going.

[Leffy]

i... can't really see anything to criticize. except the high schoolyness lol. i did my damnedest to escape highschool, but you've got this cute little story trying yank me back in :P lol eeeevil. but it looks great really.

[Crazeyal]

It has a ..guess you would call it Young charm. That's also it's detriment. You seem to put a good deal of effort into the artwork. The only problem I see is the , forgive me, awkward lines. The anatomy is a bit stressed, even though half of it seems to be an attempt to play at Chibi. The latest update has some background, but the waviness of the books is distracting and makes the work look rushed.

I like the characters, but they are a bit one-dimensional. Typical stressed out highschool girl with a lesbian twist. Perhaps a bit more of who the characters are, and some background might help.

[Mike Taylor]

I'm going to take a different approach here. Your style of drawing is fairly solid, but I feel if you want your strip to stand out even more you're probably going to have to break away from the manga look at some point and create something that is distinctly you. I can understand why you went with the style. It's something you like and are familiar with. The problem is that there are quite a few "Western" manga-style web strips out there already.

If you want to take a look at a theme similar to yours, check out this strip (http://terrinoble.com/comic/) by a transgendered friend of mine named Terri Noble (http://www.prismcomics.org/profile.php?id=619).

[niki lemonade]

Thanks guys. I know the typical high school-ness turns most people off, but I've got a few loyal fans. And I'm aware of the awkward lines too. I ink using India ink, so occasionally I waver and whatnot.

I've been feeling rather confined to what I feel is comfortable lately, wanting to take a few pics of random people and places and draw them. But with the webcomic, I've had little to no time to sit down and try to improve. I think I'm gonna drop down to one update a week, and use the extra time to draw random stuff and practice.

The funny thing is, I can't stand to watch or read teen drama most of the time. But I can write it decently. Go figure.